Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day. Seriously. Complete with news bits, a website, and Facebook perks [account settings -> general -> language -> English (Pirate)].

I’m speechless, and not just because Orlando Bloom‘s ‘avast’ makes me vomit a little in my mouth (dude, stick with elves). I suppose there’s something to be said for celebrating insanity, much like Al Pacino having the hots for Adam Sandler a’la drag queen (Jack and Jill…save 2 hours—watch paint dry).

They’ve taken a gory past and made it into a game show. I dunno about you, but if I’m going to celebrate a day about pirates, I’m more likely to visit my dark side and run around with an old cutlass chasing imaginary prey. Talk is way too tame for pirates.

So grab the muskets and give your neighbors something to head-scratch about 😉